Dear Blank, Please Blank

Dear Spongebob, You live in Bikini Bottom and you're super absorbant? Sincerely, you're a tampon.

Dear boys in skinny jeans, Please stop hitting on us. You've already gotten into our pants. Sincerely, girls.

Dear MTV Movie Award audience, I... uh ... um... wow.. um... I ... uh... th-thank you! Sincerely, Kristen Stewart.

Dear Taio Cruz, I throw my wand up in the air sometimes, sayin AYE OH, where'd my nose go? Sincerely, Voldemort.

Dear British children, Do you elect a class king instead of a class president? Sincerely, must know.

Dear Rebecca, You are a disgrace to the family name. Sincerely, Sirius.

Dear Ke$ha, If you go broke, will your name be Ke¢ha? Sincerely, curious.

Dear Selena Gomez, Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.. Sincerely, The Killers.

Dear bus passenger, Your shirt says "Metallica," but your iPod says "Taylor Swift." Sincerely, amused.

Dear men who wear skinny jeans, ...but where do you hide your penis. Sincerely, confused.